I think that sometimes in life I come off as a little too serious…and especially in this blog. So to show you that I am really a true human, I figured I would express how cool I think it is when people that went to my school go to big name schools and play sports, or even go pro!

For example:

Jon Runyan: the offensive linemen the for the Philadelphia Eagles? He went to my High School.

Brandon Carr who just this year got drafted to the Kansas City Chiefs also went to my High School.

Ahmad Rashad….he is on the track team for USC: I’m pretty sure he’s eligible to run for the Olympics.

All these dudes went to my school. And yes, there are many more, but I don’t feel like naming every single person I can think of that has made it big so far.

All I’m saying is that I’m human, and think this shit is cool.

For those of you that have followed my blog for a while have read my blog about the evolution vs. creation game called CrevoScope. Well recently PZ Myers (was recently featured in the movie Expelled) went on a rant on this game. Basically, he thought the game was silly and found the discussion occurring appalling (thankfully I don’t actually engage in the discussion, just play the game )

Check out his rant at this link

Be sure to digg, stumble, etc. it!

…all lead to my current decision on religion. It isn’t much of a decision, but surely SOME of you will look at it as a little bit of improvement.

The other day I went and checked out the movie Expelled which features Ben Stein and his search n the subject of Intelligent Design and Evolution. I don’t want to turn this post into a movie review, but I truly do feel that it was an intriguing movie. It really got me thinking and John and I actually had a progressive conversation after watching the movie. And for once, actually–for the first time ever–we found ourselves agreeing with each other!!! Now those of you that know where we’ve been and started off, you know that we NEVER agreed on anything under the category of “Religion”. And to be honest? It felt really good to finally agree with him on something. I think it really did show a little hope for a strong future in our relationship, and I cannot express to you how glad that makes me.

So with a lot of thought and reflection I have decided that I do believe there is a god. This is NOT to say that I believe in the Christian God, I yet have a lot to ponder on that. But as of now it only seems logical to me that a god, (whether or not we can actually have contact with this god I am unsure right now) created the original cells in which began the process of evolution. The chances of those cells and the earth etc. etc. being so perfectly created to fit to where we could actually live (I’m sure there are more intelligent people out there that could word that a lot better than I just did, but hey…I’m not the messenger, just the thinker) as human beings is so slim that is like 1/1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 and another like 9+ zeros.

Now honestly, can you tell me that just “happened” by chance? I truly don’t think so.

So yes, this is the only progress I’ve made. I’m not sure how long or how short it will be until anything else is decided. I’ll be sure to let you know when/if I do.

Last night I got into a discussion with John (my boyfriend) about my schooling and career. Basically I explained to him the basics of how confused I am and if I really should be a Veterinarian and if I really am intelligent enough to do it. Basically, I was second guessing myself. I was considering being a Vet Tech instead (a lot less schooling, but doesn’t make as much) and well, I was truly conflicted and still am. But, he wound up telling me to pray about it. And well, I basically said that I saw no point in me praying because why would I pray to something I dont even believe in? It’d be like my praying to Santa…I just wouldn’t see the point. Well, I’m not so sure he “enjoyed” hearing me saying that….and long story short he wound up holding me really tight and praying for me. It was really an awkward situation for me and I wasn’t quite sure how to respond or feel. I haven’t prayed in a long time, and I haven’t really had any desire to pray in a long time. So when I was engaged in prayer, it brought back a lot of memories, that I really didn’t want to come back. And it confused me. I found myself back at a state of confliction of whether or not I believed or not. And all over one simple prayer. It’s amazing what one prayer can do to someone.

So now I’m sure many of you are wondering if I actually believe again. And well my answer to that is I don’t know. I don’t think I do, but I’m just conflicted. John and I after the prayer discussed religion a lot more. And I expressed to him how confused I was, and always have been. I don’t really truly know what I believe. I began to call myself an Atheist because I was sick and tired of going back and forth. And well, I just stuck with it. And in reality that is why when people ask why I am an Atheist I can’t really answer that question. Sure, there are things that bothered me about God and religion in terms of apologetics, and sure they still do bother me. But, why would I allow those things to keep me from something I treasured so much? I loved religion, Christianity, and everything that came with it. Why would I pull away?

I don’t have an answer for that.

So…I dunno. I have a lot of thinking to do. Figured I’d let you all know that I’m back to my confused state. I try not to concentrate on it all that much.

I left on the 9th to Florida for Disney World. The reason for attending was so that my band could march at Disney Land at the Magical Kingdom and what a great experience it was! I got back yesterday, the 14th after a very long drive home filled with lots of adventure. The drive was a 24 hour drive and it was insanely long. That number never really clicked in until I was already on the bus on my way to Florida. It felt as though it was never going to happen. I’d get restless and realize I was only in Ohio!! (I live in Michigan) It was definitely a bubble burster, thats for sure. By the time we got to Kentucky it was dinner time, probably somewhere around 6 or 7, I don’t exactly remember. But that was only 8 hours later. In 8 hours we had only made it to Kentucky. Oh man, I was starting to get upset. I still had another 16 hours to go! I was only 1/3 of the way there!! Man, I could go on and on about how long it took and how frustrating it was, but I won’t. Let’s just say I’m not much of a road traveler.

Long story short? I had a great time. It was an amazing adventure. We finally arrived at Florida the next day (the 10th) and went straight to Blizzard Beach. It was so amazing to be able to swim and chill in the sun when just 24 hours before you had to wear sweaters and the thought of swimming was a crappy one.

I don’t have ti,me to go on about the entire trip, but I just wanted to let you know that I did have a fantastic time.

Here’s a photo of me and my group.