Posted by: Hope | March 30, 2009

I Am Not Saved

Ever engaged yourself in a “debate” over whether or not the church document of “once saved always saved” is actually true? Do you believe in that philosophy of once saved always saved?

I do not. But that’s not what this is about. This is a follow up on my previous post “Am I Saved?”

I do not believe I am saved, contrary to everyone’s approval and support. I just don’t think I’m saved. Over the past five months or so of returning to Christianity I have not felt, received, been guided, heard, anything from God. I know I shouldn’t base my thought of salvation on what I feel, but I am quite aware that God should, will make himself known to you in less than a period o five months. It’s been five months and I’m still having a dry spell.  Something is wrong.

So I’ve taken the liberty to try and figure out what it is. I searched for advice from someone I am really close to and is an assistant pastor at a church near my home (not my church). He agrees with me that something  is up and that I must be doing something “wrong”.

So, what did I conclude? My heart’s not in it for one. I DO desire God, but I do not particularly care to put in the effort to change or anything. So I’ve taken a look at the ten commandments, found my errors, and see that it is due time for some serious repentance. Maybe then my salvation will be complete. Or maybe I will never be saved, and God will never forgive me for walking away from the truth and cursing his name.

Time will tell.



  1. rather than worrying about being saved maybe your issue is surrender..

  2. Patience, dear one. Even in our limited, finite, myopic concept of time, five months is but a heartbeat within a human lifetime. God’s schedule is infinite and beyond time. That is the awesomeness of His power and glory. And He is infinitely aware and involved in your life. You’re still breathing, aren’t you? Every breath we take is by the grace of God, trust me, I know.

    Have you studied your Bible lately? Please note I said “studied”, which also takes time and patience and perseverance. While reading the Bible is always wonderful, truly studying Scripture is incredibly freeing and empowering. Regardless of the earthly church or its documents, the only true document of the Law of God is the Bible, the holy Word of God, inspired by God so that we may have a faithful relationship with Him. Please, read your Bible; and may the peace of the Holy Spirit fill you with perspective and patience and endurance.

    And yes, according to Scripture, if we truly believe that Jesus Christ is our Savior, then we are saved once and for a lifetime. That is the whole, entire point and purpose of the prophecy (the Old Testament) … the birth … crucifixion … death and resurrection of Jesus Christ (the New Testament-the fulfillment of the prophecy of the Old Testament).

    Sure, we trip and fall along that journey’s path. When that happens, simply raise your eyes upward, keep your focus on the His Big Picture, and open your heart and say a little prayer. Keep strong your desire to know God, and He will not foresake you, especially in what seems like the darkest of hours. Perspective and patience.

    Hope – your name says it all. God’s plan for each and every one of us is on His schedule, and we have our entire lifetime to complete His schedule for His plan for our life. That is the whole purpose of our life — to fulfill His plan on His schedule. And His plan for our life is more wondrous and glorious than anything we can imagine for ourselves!

    So relax and breathe (and thank God for that breath of life). All good things come in God’s time. You are saved by your faith in God. Please, be patient and trust God and allow Him to show you His incredible love for you, His beloved child. You’re in good hands.


  3. Kent: What makes you think I haven’t surrendered?

    Esther: Thanks for the encouragement, that was great. I’ll try and keep that in mind.

  4. Hope,
    I say ditto to what Esther said. I am not sure I could have put it any better than that. You are honest with yourself and that can scare some people, but it never scares God. He already knows all of that stuff about you. It didn’t stop Him from loving you. It won’t stop Him from loving you. If you can’t find that book I was telling you about, let me know and I will send you my copy.

  5. Kent: What makes you think I haven’t surrendered?

    i dont know if you have or havent but my encouragement is not to worry about being saved. being saved is not the goal. if it is theres a problem.

    the goal is jesus. do you know him?

  6. I guess not..

  7. Nobody’s heart is in it.

    What makes you think you are any different than anybody else?

    Don’t be fooled by the pious…their hearts are not in it as well…they just put on a better front.

    Here’s the good news.

    Jesus’ heart is in it…for you.

    And that is enough.

  8. Hope. It all is about knowing Jesus and having a repentant heart. What is being saved anyway? Whats the purpose? As I’ve journeyed to investigate and think about this, I’ve realized more and more that it is all about having an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ.
    Why did Jesus come? He came to pay the price for our sin so that we could again be with him. Back before Adam & Eve sinned, God walked with Adam and Eve everyday in the garden. They had a deep and intimate friendship. The fall messed this up, but Jesus restored it. Jesus came so that we can have a relationship with God. He wants to walk through life with us, whispering secrets and truths into our ear, and showing us his great mercy and power. And then when this earthly life ends, he wants to spend eternity with us. He has sent his Holy Spirit to guide us and direct us. When you read the word of God, you are communing with him. It is alive and active. Jesus is revealed again and again through the Word, in fact John 1 says that He is the word. He wants to share things with you and have conversations with you. And yes you may see his power, but it is only to draw you and others closer to him. Even when Jesus healed he did it so that people may believe that he had the power to forgive sins. (Luke 5:24).

    Also remember that you can’t do it on your own. We as humans, will sin again and again, failing to be obedient. But if we ask the Holy Spirit will come and enable us. He will help us to turn from our wicked ways and pursue righteousness. So what do you need to do to be saved? Realize that there is no possible way that you can do it on your own. That by your own means you will never be good. Then believe that Jesus came, died, and rose again so that your sins could be forgiven. And that he is Lord! Him dying on the cross was sufficient, he paid the price for all of your sins. Thank him for forgiving you and ask him to send the Holy Spirit to help you live a righteous life. When you fail and mess up, recognize that it is an offense against God, accept His forgiveness and then ask the Holy Spirit to enable you to be obedient. Pursue Jesus. Pursue knowing him. But realize you can’t do it on your own, but that He will provide all that you need if you just ask.

    So how do you know you are saved? Are you grieved by your sin? Do you long to be obedient to Jesus? Do you believe that Jesus’ death was enough to cover all of your mistakes? Do you accept his forgiveness? Do you desire to be obedient yet realize you can’t do it on your own? Have you asked the Holy Spirit to help you pursue a righteous life? Are you taking time to commune with God, through worship, listening, petitions, prayer, and studying the Word?

    Also you might be interested in listening to the sermon called “From lifeless to Lordship” at . It talks about the Holy Spirit being our enabler. I LOVE YOU!!!!

  9. Just wanted to say thanks for your honesty here.
    So many of us never allow the kind of struggle that clearly others have known on this (some of David’s Psalms instantly spring to mind) to be made public,
    but this manner of dereliction IS part of the Christian experience –
    just think about Peter after he had denied Christ – the good news is that God often reveals Himself in darkness and grants us the ‘wisdom’ that can only be found in such places. As Luther noted, the Lord often does His deepest works here – think of the moment of creation itself, or the crucifixion. May He would with you through this valley of shadow, and prepare His table in the wilderness.

    Bless you for your honesty, Hope.

    Yours in His mercy alone,

    Howard (from the UK).

  10. Alicia is cool. I just read a book,”flickering pixels” the author says being saved isn’t like a lite switch it is like a dimmer switch, a little at a time.
    howard is cool too.
    graceshaker is right more often than not, if you get to know Jesus it will all work out.

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