Ever engaged yourself in a “debate” over whether or not the church document of “once saved always saved” is actually true? Do you believe in that philosophy of once saved always saved?
I do not. But that’s not what this is about. This is a follow up on my previous post “Am I Saved?”
I do not believe I am saved, contrary to everyone’s approval and support. I just don’t think I’m saved. Over the past five months or so of returning to Christianity I have not felt, received, been guided, heard, anything from God. I know I shouldn’t base my thought of salvation on what I feel, but I am quite aware that God should, will make himself known to you in less than a period o five months. It’s been five months and I’m still having a dry spell. Something is wrong.
So I’ve taken the liberty to try and figure out what it is. I searched for advice from someone I am really close to and is an assistant pastor at a church near my home (not my church). He agrees with me that something is up and that I must be doing something “wrong”.
So, what did I conclude? My heart’s not in it for one. I DO desire God, but I do not particularly care to put in the effort to change or anything. So I’ve taken a look at the ten commandments, found my errors, and see that it is due time for some serious repentance. Maybe then my salvation will be complete. Or maybe I will never be saved, and God will never forgive me for walking away from the truth and cursing his name.
Time will tell.