Today I had to drive to Imlay City (typically about 40 minutes away) on some of the worst road conditions in a while. I almost lost control of my car in a total of 5 times and I think the fastest speed I got up to was 45 or 50 on fairly clear parts of the highways. Otherwise, I was going anywhere from 15-30 mph. Just to give you an idea of how crappy they were! There was like an accident every couple of miles or so, it was insane.It took me approximately 2 hours to get there.
Anyways, I drove down there for district solo and ensemble. I had to play a duet with my close friend who is also a trumpet player. We’re the two best trumpets in the school and expected to do quite well. We received a 1 at districts last year and a 2 at states (it was merely because we had three pages and the second and third page were accidently mixed up, so we did poorly of course). Well this year we barely practiced our piece, maybe 4-6 times, and some of them not really “practicing”…needless to say we received a division II rating. I was pretty upset and still am. I wish I had done a solo. It’s been since the 7th grade (so, uhh 6 years?) that I’ve received a 2. How shitty of a feeling.
Today has been pretty terrible in of itself. The driving, the rating, the annoyance of being stuck in between to friends bickering…it never ends. I have a lot more than that on my plate right now, but you don’t want to hear me complain. I think I’ve just been so busy this week that nowt hat I have a chance to sit down and think…it’s all hitting me pretty hard. I’ve got a large sense of guilt, stress, frustration, and depression all in one package. Not particularly exciting.
Lord help me through this.