Posted by: Hope | January 6, 2009

A few very minute realizations

I’ve realized a lot over the past few days.

1) I’m not comfortable with who I am.

I’m slowly growing up as each day passes. I’ve always thought of myself as a mature kid, but now I don’t know what to think of myself.  I’m learning to think more deeply and passionately about many different things. It’s to the point where I’ve confused myself. I don’t exactly know where I stand in my beliefs in many different areas. This is frustrating, as by this age (nearly 18 ..) I always figured I would have a firm understanding of what I believed for the most part.

2)  I desire to teach in the church again. But…I’m not strong enough in my faith yet. I’m just a “baby” in Christ. It makes me desire to learn more anfigure out where I stand but it seems so impossible.

3) I believe in science…I believe in evolution, the big bang, etc. etc. It’s all so logical and it makes sense. Literalist frustrate me.



  1. im with you. im 37 and still finding who i am in christ.

  2. Hello. This will probably sound like a “cookie cutter suggestion,” but Jeremiah 33:3 tells how, when we call upon the Lord, he’ll reveal to us great things that we know not. (I’m paraphrasing the verse) Likewise James 1:5-6 encourages us to ask God in faith for understanding. Evolution and the associated theories do appeal to logic while faith is required to believe in God who established all that is. The first two chapters of I Corinthians address natural understanding versus spiritual understanding.

    About a year before I was born of the Spirit, I had many of these same wrestlings along with several others. So many doctrines, so many voices proclaiming so many divers agendas, and a physical world that often seemed void of a spiritual realm. One night I prayed to the God whom I was certain existed, but seemed hidden behind a myriad of conflicting ideologies, “please reveal to me true understanding.” (I was serious!)It was about a year later when he brought me to faith in Jesus and a personal relationship with him.

    The fact that you actively engage in such deep ponderings is very encouraging. I’m always encouraged and challenged when I visit here.

    Have a blessed day in Jesus.


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