Posted by: Hope | December 1, 2008

I’m a “Fake” Fundie

I have no idea what I believe anymore. At least I used to be able to say “I don’t believe” And that was my belief. That was simple, and I honestly didn’t have to explain myself that much. But as soon as I stepped foot into the world of “Christianity” again, I’m so screwed. I have no concept of what I TRULY believe. I have a glimpse of what I used to believe, but does that truly represent me and my feelings on the world, religion, and life? No. It really doesn’t. I am much more liberal than I used to be.

I was talking to a buddy yesterday about all of my confusions (he is one of the most liberal Christians I have ever met). We got onto the subject of hell and sin. Obviously, this is one of the main issues people have with Christianity as it contradicts everything. I don’t want to ramble about hell, because thats a post for another day. But, he asked me what I believed in terms of it and I said something sarcastic like “Well, I dunno, but I’m sure that when I meet Paul at the gate he’ll pull the lever for me to go there.” He asked me if I seriously believed that and then we went onto discussing liberal Christianity vs. conservative (fundie) Christianity.

Well, what I wound up realizing is that I keep lying to myself because I don’t know where to start. I claim my “old” religious beliefs, because I don’t know what else to believe. I have never been taught anything else so how am I supposed to grasp onto anything but what I’ve been taught? I told him that I’m a “fake fundie” because deep down I know I have issues with things, I know I don’t take the Bible literally in many areas, I do believe the Bible has flaws and a lot of it is man-made. So where does this put me? Well, a very complicated spot. I attend a fairly “conservative” church and they are all basically fundies. So how am I supposed to go about this then? I love my church, I love my pastors, why change? I don’t plan on it and I never will change unless I move out of state (even then, I will come visit every chance I get).

I guess it comes down to me teaching myself. It will take a lot of will power and time, but I can do it. I don’t know what I believe now in big, dark, bold print. But, I know that I am not conservative, I know that I have problems with some things. Now, all I have to work out the kinks and try and back up my beliefs.

Here we go…This will probably take me the rest of my life, but at least I am willing to accept the fact that I am not like everyone else.

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Responses

  1. Pretty much all you can do is go through the journey with an open head and an open heart.

    What you have to do is pretty obvious, and you’ve stated it yourself. You have to find out what your beliefs are, again. Go through everything. Leave no stone unturned. I would try to find someone that you can talk to about these sorts of things. Many people need someone who will challenge them about their beliefs without attacking the person.

    I’d also suggest reading everything you can get your hands on, regardless of the religion associated with it. It, sometimes, is easier to find out what you are when you find out what you are not.

  2. Hope,

    My advice would be to not be concerned with which side of the fence you consider yourself to be aligned with nor what side others are going to view you as being aligned with, ie; conservative, liberal etc.

    From what I have gathered from reading the New Testament, Jesus Christ did not seem to be concerned with such traditions (Mark 7:6-8).

    If your concerned about not being a “fundy” because of flack from liberals and vice versa, then I think that the predicament that you are in right now is that your approaching Christ with your own agenda of how you want things to go instead of letting God’s word transform you. The fact is that there are aspects of Christianity (your relationship with Christ) that are going to turn people off, just as people opposed Christ Himself.

    The message of the Cross is offensive, because it ultimately attacks our sinful nature, a nature which is in rebellion to God. That doesn’t make the Bible wrong though. It just means that you are human with a sinful nature just like every other person, Christian or not.

    Belief in the accuracy of the Bible is critical, I’m speaking of traditional versions such as the KJV,NKJV,NIV & ESV for example. Without having a reliable source to look to, you are in fact at the whim of whatever false doctrines that cult religions manufacture as well as one’s own desires to make the Bible conform to our own desires versus allowing the Bible to conform us to Christ.

    2 Timothy 3:16-17
    16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

    See also: 2 Corinthians 5:17 & Romans 12:1

    Grace and peace be with you.


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