Those of you that know me, know my basic Christian background..but for those that don’t we’ll start there.
I was a Christian for almost 3 to 4 years. I was pretty devout and was really big on evangelism, especially to my close friends from school. A lot of my friends knew me as their “Christian buddy” and I was just fine with that! But today, 4 almost 5 years later I am no longer a Christian and call myself an Agnostic (with a twist). Not many of my friends are aware of this and I try to keep it kind of hush hush…mostly because I hate that very simple question: “Why?” That one question is such a huge question but is only one word. I can’t explain why, for the most part. I mean..I could tell you that I have issues with hell among other things, but that doesn’t fully answer the question as to why I’m agnostic. I don’t have a complete answer for that and most people are completely unwilling to accept that! Even I struggle with the fact that I do not know.
But all of that is not what I wanted to share with you. What I wanted to share with you was the rudeness and uncaring hearts that I have gotten from Christians. Do you want to know what was said to me the other day? Not by just one person, but three. When these friends of mine heard that I was an agnostic the first thing they said to me was “Jesus hater!” When I heard those words I had to pause. I was shocked. Who says that? How COULD someone say that to anyone? How is that loving at all? These people call themselves my friend, yet they don’t even stop to think about what they’re saying?
So obviously, my first response was to be shocked. My second response was to be offended. I honestly think I’m still going through my third response, three days later. My third response is pondering how to handle such a statement, and I’m left wondering if they understand the ignorance of their statement?
I am left asking why they would say that. I still don’t have an answer. Were they offended that I do not believe in their God? That I think their God does no exist? Is that it…is that why they had the audacity to say such a thing? Maybe it is and if so, does that give them to say such a thing? Well, no I don’t think so. What if I were offended because theists say that I am wrong, my beliefs are incorrect. I’m not offended by that, it’s clearly common sense that they believe that…but if I were offended by that, would that give me the right to be a complete asshole to them? To say such a rude comment? Absolutely not, its completely unethical. No one has the right to be rude.
Maybe I’m just complaining/whining over the fact that people that are supposed to be my friends could say something so harmful. I don’t hate Jesus, I just don’t believe he’s god. Actually, I wouldn’t even go so far as to say that. I truly, honestly DO NOT know what I believe. I’m so confused. I’ve said this for months. I’ve been back and forth with Christianity a thousand times the last year or so. It got ridiculous and I was sick of it so I went with my gut feeling: there is no God.
I feel as off I am getting off track. I’m unaware of which direction I want to take this from here, so I feel I should end this. Why are agnostics and atheists looked at as such bad people? I recently posted a topic on that, so I wont go into that. But why do Christians say they are getting attacked and that America is becoming an atheist, agnostic (ok not all christians, but I’ve heard them) nation when we are the minority!
I could ramble on and on, but I feel no point. I wish people would learn to respect other peoples view and quit being so rude. America is a country where we are allowed to have our freedom of religion and not be hassled over that decision. If you are offended because I am agnostic I don’t understand why. Want to inform me?